Restless

As I post this, the rain has me trapped, and it makes me upset. This is unusual. I have a mad passion for thunderstorms, but not this one. My writing has had a major distraction. Mom came by and handed me something that steals my sleep, my attempts at writing fiction, and my ability to pay attention to anything anyone else is saying, because in my mind I’m revisiting places and capturing them in magnificent detail.

I now own a 4k camcorder and 2 tripods with bells and whistles. I’ll need a couple of lenses, macro shots on it suck and those are necessary for the plethora of bugs I’ll be chasing through the grass like I’m on a miniature safari. The zoom is awesome though. My eyes have gotten so bad I can’t see birds in trees anymore, but now I can not only see them, I can save them and see them again. Also, it has an excellent microphone and I can extract the sound track of beautiful areas.

I really like what I’ve done with the blog lately, turning my ramblings into quick notes under the flash makes it a better read, and I’ve gained a few more followers that way. But this camera… it’s a game changer.

I’ve had dreams, y’all. Dreams of doing things like going camping near where Bigfoot has been seen and taking nature videos and sound recordings out there, so when I do the thing where I put on my headphones and half of me starts pretending I live in the woods, it can be where Bigfoot lives. Or I can explore abandoned places, haunted houses, graveyards, murder sites, treacherous looking sites of urban decay, and play them back late at night when everyone is sleeping. Then I can stay up writing by the light of my adventures.

Last year ended in massive disappointment for me. My adventures in Staten Island ended and the only sightseeing I managed was on the island itself. I didn’t even get to see all the cool things there (though I did snag a couple of rocks from the mansion where a mafia hitman dismembered a dude). I was too worried about having someone with me if I tried to go into the city for safety and security. I don’t like crowds. I didn’t want to deal with a toddler while I was distracted sightseeing in that crowd, especially if I wanted to stop and write in the middle of a neat atmosphere. Joe was too tired on the weekends, and the weeks kept passing until I felt so much pressure that I ended up trying to take the bus multiple times and failed. Once there was this bus/foot race until I got sick on the side of the road (running with fibro and a low level migraine sucks), and there was all kinds of getting lost or confused about the bus routes.

I had my hopes set on quite a few things, like seeing Poe’s banister, drinking with the ghost of Dylan Thomas, and walking over the bones in Washington Square park. I even wanted more of just the island, seeing more of the crumbling cemeteries, nature preserves, the abandoned hospital… sigh.

I didn’t even get to explore inside the murder mansion because a van was parked in the front so I was worried someone was inside. Probably always parked there to deter “visitors” by the same person who stuck a mannequin in the window for the ghost hunters to see when they tried to take long distance photos to peek inside. I’d show you a pic but I lost it. I lost all my Staten Island pics except what was used on the blog when I decided to be a moron and not back up my documents.

Work directly from the cloud, people.

As I was saying, I had plans, goals, things I wanted to do. I wanted these places to inspire my writing, put more color to my fiction, possibly even end up in a little dark tourism style travel writing. But no, I couldn’t get my shit together quickly enough. The disappointment was enough to shut me up about my life, and make me stick to just the tiny little stories I manage to churn out in the moments the toddler is still.

Which ended up good. I enjoy rambling about my life, but meanwhile, the place started looking more like a collection of stories, and I picked up a few more followers from it. At first, I hoped to lick my wounds and then start applying what I wanted to a local level, then I would start talking about my life again.

After all, I haven’t seen some of the cool stuff around Tulsa that could thrill me. I’m not from the area and haven’t had a car until recently. So, I was going to take my little Craig’s list freebie camera around some of the sights, like the forgotten graveyard under downtown and the hanging tree near there, when Mom told me about the 4k camcorder she bought on a whim that has been sitting around her house, unused, for about a year. I can’t believe we’re related.

Therefore, I have been waiting. Spring is here. I have transportation, gas money, and an air popcorn popper. That last bit will help with the ravenous squirrels that swarm you in Woodward park, which is next to the haunted Tulsa Garden Center, full of flowers and bees to photograph. I have not gone on this wonderful little adventure that I have been looking forward to since January, as I have been waiting on this camera and spring. Now, both are here.

So are the thunderstorms for the next couple of days. And this isn’t one of those waterproof type cameras. Fuck.

What this all means for the blog goes a little something like this: not much yet. I don’t even have software to edit 4k or a desktop computer at the moment. But, I can export photos and it records in mp4 at the same time, so I can share a few adventures occasionally.

However, because I like the blog being mostly a chain of stories, these posts might happen on a day other than Tuesday (which will remain flash day), when circumstances permit me to have an adventure. I may end up reviving my old blog (which was nature oriented) just for those posts and link to them here, not sure yet. For now, I will resume weekly flash stories next week, while I figure out how to use this thing and wait for the rain to end.

Also, very soon, summer is coming. My teen will be out of school, and Joe already rented a beautiful place for the family to be together again. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be going back to New York. Not to Staten Island, though I will revisit a few things I miss pictures of. Long Island this time, where there’s an active serial killer and we have access to two back yards, one with a pool. Gonna be a great summer.

I hope the move goes better than last time.

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2 thoughts on “Restless

  1. I know how you feel. I haven’t been able to gain access inside the kreischer mansion for a long time. Its rented out and used as a recording studio last I heard but they do hold festivals there during the summer. Your best bet would be to attend one of the festivals and ask to explore the mansion while you’re there.

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